Thursday, May 26, 2011

Random thoughts

My poor blog I feel as if I have abandoned you, but fear not I haven't lol!
I've just been really busy with the kids and my other blog and trying to stay awake!
However all is well. Leilani continues to amaze, amuse and astonish me everyday. In fact this morning she said something to me that she has never said before: "I've had enough cuddling." This little comment shook me to the core. I know I'm dramatic but someone has to be ;)

I couldn't believe she said that to me. I was still in bed trying to convince myself and my body to go back to sleep after her BUENOS DIA of the morning, then she sat on my bed, instead of climbing into it, and looked at me. I basically had to pull her to cuddle with me and after she finally did and she was "done" I, being a baby, said NOOOO come here I want to cuddle and she said: Mommy I've had enough cuddling! So again me being the mature adult mother that I am said: FINE! and rolled over.Then I quickly gathered myself and made her breakfast lol.

I couldn't believe it! She told me she had enough cuddling! I hope she doesn't make it a habit... lol because then I'll be really sad.

Then today she wore her Flamenco dress and heels that I bought her back from Spain and she was loving all the attention she was getting! I looked at her and noticed how tall shes getting and how beautiful she really is. I think that I, as a mother, often times take my daughter for granted. Why do I say this, well because I see her everyday so I don't always STOP and LOOK/ admire her as I should, at least in my opinion. As I said before in my other blog I don't know how people have more than one child. I'm trying to jungle equal time between my daughter and nephew and that's hard!
The weather is also getting a lot better here in NYC so we have been outside a lot lately soaking it all up! :)

Lately I've been every moody... lol for various reasons but I'm glad that I have the ability to always come back to happy! That's the most important thing, to be and remain happy. For the longest I wasn't able to do this and I'm glad that I am now because its very rewarding and refreshing its true what "they", who ever they, say life is too short to be in a bad mood.
Okay I'm all done now. I have to get a shower and get ready to wake up and do it all over again tomorrow :)
Thank you for reading and thank you so much for being patient with me I promise I will be better as I am going on vacation soon so I will have ample free time!
Thank you and I finally changed my settings so you can post comments freely on both of my blogs! This one and

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Quirky Things I Love about Her

You cant see her angle kiss but its there :)
  • Her "angel kiss"- she has what some people call a strawberry or birth mark on her forehead on the top of the bridge of her nose and I love to kiss it!
    • I call it her angel kiss because one of her grandfather's  passed while I was pregnant with her and I say that he kissed her there and sent her down to "us"
    • Its her trade mark :)
  • The next thing is her soft snore!
    • I think its the sweetest thing in the world.
    • It makes me want to stay in bed and just listen to her snore. It also helps me fall back asleep when I'm having difficulty doing so.
      • I do mean her SOFT snore because her LOUD snore wakes me
  • The fact that she talks in her sleep.
    • Its pretty funny when I listen to the things she says
      • She'll yell at me or her cousin orsay really random things that make no sense at all.
    • She sometimes YELLS in her sleep which wakes me up and isn't too cute lol, but it is funny.
    • On night she yelled: "My tummies going to EXPLODE!!!" Why? I have no idea hahaha lol

    O bAM oBAM o BAM
  • Her little "go to dance"
    • She shakes her little hips and "snaps" her fingers and sings a little song! O bam o bam o bambam bam lol too cute *_*
  • The way she says certain words
    • Closet, is pronounced Close- It
    • Family, is pronounced FamOlee
  • Every morning when she wakes up the first thing she say is:
    • Buenos dia!!
  • She still ask for me to craddle her like a baby
    • Which I always do because she's going to grow out of that soon :(
  • This ones not really quirky but
    • Her feet- I think I love them so much because they are the first thing that I saw on her when she was first born on account of I was holding her upside down when she came out lol.

Just a few, but some that I love very much *_*
Thank you for reading and love the unique things your kids have or do because it makes them, them!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Taking on 2!?

First I would like to say that I have NO idea how mothers of more than one child do it?! I have been taking care of my daughter and nephew by myself full time for the past 2 months and it has felt like 18 years! If you have more than one child and you are ALIVE and of sane mind YOU. ARE. AMAZING. I used to watch the two of them when they were younger but never anything like this. GOODNESS do those two have energy for days and at first I felt bad I wasn't playing with them at the park, or coloring with them but now I really don't lol. If it wasn't for those few minutes of "solitude" I think I would've packed my nephew in a crate and sent him back to Florida WITH my daughter. I'm suppose to be taking my nephew back to my sister soon so that is definitely a relief and when I get there I have already forewarned her that I will have nothing to do with them for at least two consecutive days. Lol
If you are a mother and especially a mother of more than one child I applaud you!
You are amazing and if you have anyone, especially a significant other, MAKE them take care of the kids for at least a few hours out of the week so you can do whatever it is your heart desires because you deserve it and they can see whats its like just for a little :)
Thank you for reading. Now I'm off to chase and referee the kids again.
Florida you can not come any sooner. OMG this is going to be my first time at an airport with TWO KIDS... ... we shall see how that work out lol :)

Thank you once again and don't forget my other blog:

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Au Pair?... Nanny?... OH!

When my daughter an I are out  people always look at us, well STARE at us.
I know what they are thinking: They look a like but there is no way that she's her mom or the little girls parents just did a good job at picking a nanny.

On the park I watch the reactions the other parents/nannies have when Leilani calls me mommy and I reply. It can be very comical.

However, no one, until the other day, ask me if I was a nanny or Au Pair.
The kids (Leilani and my nephew) an I were on the subway to the aquarium and we were practicing our Spanish flash cards when a German man asked if I was an Au Pair.
Me: No (with a half laugh)
Man: Oh...
Me: She's my daughter and he's my nephew.
Me: Yes
Man: Oh her father must be South American or something?
Me: No he's Mexican and Caucasian
Man: Oh...
Then we started talking about New York City.

Although some people would think that I should be offended at the man's prying I wasn't. I've experienced a lot worse. There are moments where I stare back at people and simply bark: YES! before they even have a chance to ask.

Sometimes I say things just to mess with people in the case of the women at the bus stop that went on and on about how she was very glad and relieved that they, the kids, are not mine and that I'm too young to have kids and girls today and blah blah blah.
Imagine her surprise when I interrupted her lecture/ rant to tell her they were both mine and that they were 10 months apart because, I just couldn't help myself.  The all so predictable response of  "... Oh... well..." soon followed and I grabbed the kids by the hand and moved away from her.

First off lady, why are you relieved and or glad? I don't know you, my life and my child's life don't effect you or your life. In fact I'm going to get on this bus and take my kids to the Bronx Zoo then down to Central Park while you sit there and digest what I just told you.

If you're a teen mom don't let others degrade your mommy title and if necessary bite back, that's what moms do. Stand up for themselves and their child. Truth be told sometimes people ask for it.
If you're not a teen mother work on being a bit more polite when speaking to one, just because I'm a teen mother doesn't mean that I need to answer your, often times rude, questions or that I have to be polite.
Thank you for reading :)

Thursday, May 19, 2011

School Fustrations!

I'm writing this blog during an emotional fit so please bare with me.
I am just so upset at the fact that I have no money, I'm trying to get into school but the process of getting in is expensive when you have NO money! I had to put a $100 deposit down which I did but took for the $300 that my sister sent me then I have ANOTHER test for Baruch but in order to pass it I pretty much have to buy this CD-ROM that's $50! I know $150 dollars isn't really that much but I also have a $800 credit card bill that I ran up when I was leaving Florida and when I got to NYC in order to live. I KNOW I don't have it that bad I have a wonderful family that supports me in everything I do but, I feel like a BUM when I can't always do for myself! I've never really felt this way because I've always had a job and or savings to fall back on but this time I don't so I'm having a little moment. Then even if I do get the money from somewhere, most likely my family once again, I don't have the right computer to study on because my notebook doesn't have a CD Rom slot thing! My father can get me one to studying on but by the time that have the CD and the computer I will have only 1 or 2 days to learn the material. Its just all very overwhelming on top of everything else in life. I get no child support for my daughter and despite the common misconception that ALL teen mothers LIVE off of the state and or government I don't. I also need to get shots for admissions and with no insurance, that's right I don't have Medicaid or care or whatever, and not having money to pay for shots.
Okay now I'm don't being a baby because I know and I'm confident that everything will work out. Life is great an if I can even be sitting here on the computer with my healthy daughter on my lap typing out my frustrations I am so blessed I need to just shut my mouth and carry on.
That's enough Debbie Downer for a day, now I'm off to forget my tiny "problems" and have fun with my full of life daughter and nephew! :)

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

How time flys!

I know I know you guys are probably sick of my posting about time and all but I can't help it. This morning as a laid in bed trying to sleep I turned over and smiled at my frequent bed intruder, my daughter, she of course was sleeping peacefully and as I looked at her I couldn't believe it. This five year old girl was once a tiny 8 pound baby that I would balance on my lap to breast feed and do homework at the same time. She's now almost four feet tall and is a functioning human being, I know that sounds silly but when kids are babies they're... well... babies. They rely on you for everything and now my five year old "functioning human being" is pouring her own juice, talking out her own problems with her cousin, solving problems and often times reminding me that we have "that at home, we don't need another one mommy" when we are at the grocery store. Then it amazes me how much of a difference 5 years can make. I never thought when I was ten that I'd be pregnant in five years nor did I think at 21 that I'd be a single mother, living in NYC and going to a great college at the age of 21! Its just bizarre to realize how half a decade sounds like soooooo much but really isn't anything. Think about it, if you're a mother, how it seems like you just had your child and, if you don't have a child, how quick high school went by and now you're looking for colleges!
I'm getting blown away all over again just thinking about it and I'm tired because I gave up trying to share my bed with my daughter at 4:30am and I'm hungry, so I need to go feed myself and my five year old "functioning human being" and my nephew 
Thank you for reading!
Check out my other blog:

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I Wish

I realized the other day as my daughter picked her wedgie in the middle of Central Park I wish I could still do that. Then it got me thinking of all the things kids can do and not get in trouble, truly judged or have second thoughts about doing so, so as I observed the kids I began making a mental list.
The first one on the list was of course:
  • The wedgie pick.
Now we ALL know that sometimes our underwear rides up and you try to do a little dance to get it out or, if you are really daring, the quick pick which is about 50% effective. But sometimes you were just want to pick the dang thing out and not worry about who is looking.
  • Next, pick my nose.
Yes I know gross I even think its gross, but hey there are sometimes when you just need to. Now I'm not talking about sitting for hours and picking your nose, or picking and wiping it on whatever is around but an effective quick pick WITH an I repeat WITH a tissue around.
  • The ability to say No when asked if you're okay.
Often times I'm asked are you okay, and respond yes. Why?, because somewhere along the growing up timeline no turned into yes and stayed. Sometimes I wanted to yell NO, NO I'm not okay. Which leads me to my next secret envy of children.
  • Honesty.
Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying that my daughter and or nephew are the most honest kids on the planet. What I am saying is the fact that they speak their minds. My nephew has a way of, at least once a week, giving me the feeling that I want to disappear. With out meaning to hurt someones feelings he says things that are obvious to everyone else but you just don't say them. For example, Wow! You're really black or shes big, right tia? Or my daughters famous: Look her/ his hair is crazy, right mommy? This one I would like to use especially when people are surprised at the result of a dumb act or move.
  • Cry when I'm tired
I know sounds childish but sometimes you are just so tired you want to cry. When I'm up late at night studying and have the test in the morning and still not getting the material, on top of all the other things on my mind I just want to cry. Why? No not because I think it will help, but just because I want to that's why.
  • Express exactly how you feel regardless of how it sounds or the outcome.
Now this one I will say I used the other day and boy did it feel GREAT!
Often times I keep things in FOREVER, no I'm not exaggerating, this I know is not good and only leads to more build up and frustrations but I still do it. On the other hand my daughter will come to me with a problem and even though its no crying matter or not even a problem at all she tells me. She doesn't care how silly it sounds or how it will make me feel she just expresses how she feels.
I guess I should take up after my daughter more and express how I feel more often.
  • Say I love you with out fear
I don't know if this is just personal or what but I wish I could say I love you with out fear. No fear of what will be the out come, not needing to hear it back and just saying it. Now don't get it wrong I'm not a love crazed fool but I will admit that I don't even say I love you enough to my sisters and those girls are my most favorite people in the world. So I need to and should say I love you more to my loved ones.
  • Color for hours and have everyone tell me that my art work is beautiful
The above pretty much speaks for it's self. I wish I could jut color and drawl for hours and have people Awe at my "art work" even if it is nothing special

Thank you for reading and if you have any other ones please share :)

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Another culinary adventure with the kids

Since I'm getting pretty tired an I don't want to blog tonight I will put the link to my other blog so you can read about it:
Thank you for reading and remember my YouTube channel:

Sorry TIME

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while I've just bee really busy as other mothers can understand.
The kids an I have been running around the city and getting into every and any free adventure and event. I realize that I am one of the lucky few that can spend ALL of my time with my daughter and it reminds me that all of my hard work up to this point has been well worth it. Time is one of the most precious and non refundable things on this planet especially when it comes you and your kid(s). I say you and your kid(s) because we, as mothers, NEED to take time out for ourselves in order to be the best that we can be for ourselves and children. If  you aren't on at the top of your game you aren't giving your child the best you, you can give.
When my daughter was first born I was so overwhelmed, busy, and stressed that I would forget a lot of things but the most important was to eat. I was doing everything else that I felt I had to do and forgetting to do the basic human act of eating. The result was me feeling dizzy, forgetful, tired, easily upset and not producing fulfilling and nutrient rich breast milk for my daughter. Here I was doing my homework, going to work, doing chores, laundry, chorus performances, attending necessary plays for drama and just about anything else you can think of but because I wasn't taking care of myself I in turn wasn't taking care of my daughter. I finally realized something had to change after coming to in the dinning room after one of my famously quietly kept fainting spells. I was in the dinning room peeling carrots to make my daughter homemade baby food and looked down and realized I was holding a knife and leaning against the wall passed out while my daughter was sleeping in her crib.
I was shocked! What if I had fallen on the knife? Nobody else was home it was just my daughter an I. I was upset, but mostly with myself. Here I was trying to do everything right and forgetting me. I'm not saying that I changed my ways right away, because certain type of change take more time but I did change. I "got better" STARTED eating and in turn was not as tired, forgetful and easily upset and most important I was producing healthy fulfilling breast milk for my daughter.
As mothers we rush through what we need and get right to what our kids need and want not realizing that we are the "way" to our kids.
My crash realization was tough to handle but after that point I was no longer passing out and I felt better because I was taking care of myself and took time to sit and eat a quite meal, even if it was only five minutes. Those five minutes of quiet and food kept me going but most importantly they were MINE. Something that is hard to say and have as a mother especially a new mom and a teen mom at that.
I must admit I still ignore myself fro time to time but I got/get "selfish" and get my time!
Remember to take time out for yourself because it not only benefits you, your child and the relationships as well!
Thank you for reading and TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF!!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Shoe laces, teeth and monkey bars

These last few days I've been in awe with Leilani. I can't believe how big she is getting. Shes gotten taller, uses her words in more advanced ways and is fitting into clothing that was once too big for her.
However, the changes that have left an impact on me the most are:
 shoe laces, teeth and monkey bars.

Leilani, as you probably read before, lost her two front lower teeth. Her losing these teeth was just the beginning of realizing how fast and big she is really growing. The other day we were at the park and she did the whole monkey bar set all by herself!
No help from me, no cries for help, no failing down mid way, just her doing it all on her own, like a true big girl! Perhaps the next thing is what made the biggest impact on me.
She. Tied. Her Own. Shoes. (!!!)

I couldn't believe it we had been trying for a while and today she did it!! She was so happy and so was I! After tying her shoe she looked up at me, smiled triumphantly and showed me her gap tooth smile,
I melted!
This little girl, this amazing little girl is all mine! She's so intelligent and I can't believe it. Shes come so far from the over sized, big eyed, bald baby to this tall, skinny, long haired doe eyed little girl. All in a short five years!
Shes also pouring her own drinks with no mess, helping me do dishes and wanting to mop the floor and do yoga with me!
I CAN wait until she gets older, but I'm so excited and anxious to see how beautiful,intelligent and the type of person she will be towards others and most importantly herself.

Parenting is a job that always pays and continues well beyond the "18 years" its a gift and a job that last a life time. So get in there do it well and remember your child(ren) are a reflection of you.
What I mean by this is that if your child isn't behaving the way you want them to, then maybe you aren't teaching them the way they want you to. All kids are different and learn and respond to different things. Learn your child's way now so parenting and the friendship you build can last a lifetime!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Clean Up, Clean up, Clean Up the Environment

Today the kids and I went over to Central Park and took part in their Pitch in and Pick up program.

I've been looking for volunteer opportunities for the Leilani, my daughter, and I to do since I've become a parent. Some opportunities require day and or hour commitments that can be unrealistic for a parent and child. So when I found the walk-in opportunity I jumped on it right away.
We arrived at one of the various visitor centers located throughout Central Park which I had no idea doubled as a Recreation center. Upon arriving the lady in the center was very kind and gave us gloves, bags and a trash picker up stick thingy to pick up garbage with.

I used this as a lesson to express to the kids the important role we play in the "circle of life" as well as the personal responsibility we have to the planet. The kids were really excited to pick up garbage and know they were making a difference in their immediate environment as well as the world. They talked about how Dora( The Explorer) and Diego help clean up the environment too and how they, the kids, were now doing their part.

Along our garbage cleaning path we also found worms and mushrooms! Two things the kids haven't seen in person before. They found both things interesting and I explained to them that worms help clean and recycle the soil and that mushrooms are a fungus( I don't really know the purpose of
After we were done we went back to the Rec Center and the woman there had two certificates waiting for the kids that said they helped clean up Central Park!
We stayed at the rec center and check-out some of their FREE sporting equipment and played around the center and park a bit. I also taught the kids one of my favorite past times, JUMP ROPING!!!
I didn't realize how hard it is to teach jump roping, the time and rhythm that goes into it all. After giving some advice, while being annoyed and getting impatient, the kids jumped 4 time with out messing up! Not bad for first timers although I think their still a bit too far from double dutch.

I am so glad that I found the rec center. My lack of finances have kept me from being able to buy sporting equipment for the kids and knowing that I can go check out a bag full and play with them makes me really happy! Recreation Centers are also a great place to pick up information about free and exciting classes, tours and events for adults and kids!
I already have some things lined up for us to go back and do some new things to try and blog about in my other blog:
Not only does picking up garbage help teach the kids the importance of being good to our planet but it also helped with an impromptu lesson and adventure.
Volunteering is great way to:
  • Help humble you and your children
  • Teach your child about the topic you are volunteering for
  • Meet new people/ families with similar interest
  • Find something new to do with your kid(s)
  • Help raise responsible level headed children
I am still on the look out for volunteer opportunities that I can take my daughter along on.
Once again thank you for reading and check out my YouTube channel: which has a video of the kids talking about the importance of cleaning up our environment.

This channel also has a few videos about my daily First adventures, that can be read about in my other blog:

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Curly Hair

The other day Leilani told me something that meant a lot to me. She looked at my hair, which has been really unkempt lately, and told me: "Mommy I love your curly hair. Its so pretty and curly."
This means a lot to me not only because it was really sweet of her to tell me that but because it means that she finds "untypical" beauty, beautiful.

I finally started wearing my hair natural-full-time- after my high school graduation. I was sick of having to take out a whole day to wash and dry my hair, so it could be straight and have the Florida humidity attack it once I walked out the door. So I gave up on perms and started trying new products out that would allow me to wear my hair curly. At first my family thought it was "cute" then they begged me to get over my "ridiculousness" and then they finally realized what I had realized long before them. My curly hair is ME, it shows more personality it shows I have "spunk" and courage.

Of course along the way Leilani heard my family calling me hair crazy(in a bad way) and/ or ugly. She picked up on these things and began to believe them too.
I've been trying to her that all people are beautiful even if they don't look like the picture on the TV or the person in the magazine. Of course the people on the magazine are woman that either look like a blonde 10 year old boy or a sexed up curvy woman and neither of them have "crazy" curly hair like I do. My daughter's hair is wavy/ curly and for the longest she didn't like or embrace her curly hair because all the images of beauty she saw were skinny woman with straight hair. She would even tell me that curly hair was ugly and that it wasn't pretty. I was shocked at this! Her an I both have curly hair and her saying that curly was ugly was her saying we were ugly! I asked her if she thought she was ugly and she said no, I asked her if she thought I was ugly and again she replied no and then I pointed out that we both had curly hair. She thought about it for a minute and said:"Mommy we're both beautiful."
I knew she still didn't get it fully an ever since then I made it one of my, amongst many other, mommy missions to show her unconventional beauty is beauty.
So for my daughter to tell me on one of my worst hair days that she LOVED my Crazy (in a good way) CURLY hair and that it was sooo beautiful.
Made me sooo happy and proud to see that she got the unstated lesson and that she began to believe it!
Shes begining to embrace her hair and see that curly is beautiful and its mommy and her!
Thank you for reading!

My daughter lost her first teeth!

So its been a while.
Today my daughter lost her lower bottom two teeth! I was so shocked even though I knew it was going to happen.
Let me start from the beginning.
A few months I realized that my daughter had two loose teeth. The teeth were her two front lower teeth. I immediately jumped on google and googled the average age that children begin to loose their teeth and saw that my daughter was early! Then I had to think back my daughter started teething at two months of age! So her loosing her teeth at an earlier age was actually expected and normal. Today while we were making home made ice cream, which you can read about in my other blog:, I noticed that her teeth were laying on her bottom lip and holding on by a vein. I asked her if she was ready to have me pull them out and she agreed. I began to try pull them out and was nervous! I had never pulled out anybodies teeth out not even my own! My sisters were nice enough to knock out all my teeth while I was growing up. My daughter began to cry perhaps sensing my nervousness and having her own, this was also the first time she had ever had someone pulling on her teeth. She began to cry and I tried to ease her worries by talking to her. I pulled out the first one and she didn't even feel it, I showed her her tooth and she wanted to look in the mirror I told her that she was bleeding and not to be alarmed. When she did look in the mirror she began to cry at the sight of her missing tooth and the blood. The second one was actually harder to get out and I actually felt the vein break! It was intense! She began to cry and I wanted to cry to. I believe that she was crying out of confusion, she didn't understand how she was bleeding and wasn't hurt.
I was emotional at the fact that my little girl is now a half a decade old and has lost two teeth! I know it sounds petty but I'm also the same girl that refused to buy her growing daughter size 4T clothing because after 4T there would be no more "T" just 5 which meant my daughter was growing! I know I know I sound crazy but its the truth and yes sadly enough my daughter wore clothing that was a bit too small for about three months until I woke up from my ridiculousness.
So now here I am a mom searching for my daughters first Kindergarten school ever and  in NYC! All the while finding sample questions to study for my placement test for Baruch, applyign to scholarships and falling in love with life more and more everyday and strangely enough looking foward to the challenges! :)
Thank you so much for reading!
Don't forget my other blog.
Have a great day !!:)