Saturday, June 25, 2011

Why do you feel the need to interview me?

One thing that I really do not understand is why "adults" seem the need to ask 101 questions about me, my daughter and her father?
I have people ask me all sorts of questions.
The usual:
  • How old are you?
    • 21
  • How old is she?
    • 5
(doing quick math in their heads... eyes bulge... usually followed by a Wow!)
The one that really bugs me:
  • So where's her father now? (in a condescending tone) You're not together are you?
I don't know if its the question itself that really bugs me or the way in which it is asked.
Me: No, we are...
(interrupt me)
Person: Yeah, of course not
What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is my first thought.
Then I just graciously smile and think to myself: if you only knew.

If you only knew that I left her father after almost 6 years of being together because of several reasons. Ranging from abusive behavior, to lack of maturity (which is funny because he is more than a few years older than me) to infidelity. And that while we were together we created a naturing loving environment where our daughter learned that both of her parents love her amongst many other things.
If you only knew that I choose to be a single parent because I wasn't happy and didn't want to raise a child in a relationship that went from loving and respectful to the complete opposite.
If you only knew that one day you might hear or read about me in Forbes, The Times or any other major media publication. So please don't feel pity for me or my daughter because we are doing just fine and after I walk away its just her an I.
The way we both like it.
Then after I have all of these thoughts I wonder why do teen mom/ parents get the third degree and do "grown" adults get the same treatment?
I understand people might but curious as to why/how teenagers become parents but the answer is simple: sex.
That's how anyone or thing becomes a parent. Sex.

Next time you see or meet a teen parent try to have a bit more respect and know that we try hard, just like another parent of any other age group, to do our best and sometimes an encouraging comment is nice to hear.

Now I leave you with a question
Have any of my teen parents experienced something similar and how do you "deal" with it?
Thank you for reading.
and dont forget to check out my other blog where I try something for the First time everyday :)


  1. I love your blog. Its always so refreshing to see who you have grown to be from the girl I met in like middle school or high school. I don't remember which! Lol. You're a great mom regardless of age. I wish "grown ups" would just grow up. Its different but, people look at me like I have a 3rd eye when I tell them I have godchildren. Why is it so hard to believe that at 21 I am able to handle that responsibility?

    1. Thank you Nesha! I can't remember if it's middle or high either :) People need to work on being more open minded.

  2. I hate when people do you like that! It makes me want to slap them!!! ARGGGG!!! but you are a GREAT MOM and you have deff changed the face of "teen moms" for real!

    1. LOL! Thank you. I know what you mean but you can't find ignorance with nothing more than your actions that show them you are more than their perceived image of you/me. LOVE YOU!

  3. I've been through this with strangers and pitential boyfriends and I nevr feel.lije I have to explain anything. My daughter and I are doing just fine and it's no one's business what's going on with her father and I. Period.

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