Saturday, August 27, 2011

How to Love

I heard this song before the video came out and I'm not going to lie I didn't like it. I imagined that when the video came out for it it would be your typical unhappy sad girl stripping and other unglamorous things.

However, when Twitter started blowing up about how intense the video was and how people are giving mad props to Wayne for such a video I decided to check it out. I'm glad I did, whereas often times watching the video to a song makes you dislike the song even more (Britney Spears's Hold it Against Me... don't get me started) this video actually made me really like the song.

Some people are saying that the video isn't deep at all and is just common sense. My reply to them is, if the subject matter in the video was common sense the world would be a completely DIFFERENT place and there would be no need for videos like this.
As a single mother of a daughter and the daughter of a not so stable up bringing I worry ALL the time about the type of messages I unintentionally send to Leilani.
The video opens with a young girl going to get an abortion but she can't go through with it. Eventually, she has her daughter and subjects her to dangerous situations and relationships. It is through the relationships that the mother has that the child learns How to Love. Since the mother doesn't have a grasp on what love is, how to find it and or can't provide a positive environment where love can flourish (whether single or married) the girl grows up a mess and her behaviors lead her to contracting the HIV virus.
If you watch the video above you will see there is a twist.

The importance of this video is that it promotes something that I agree with one HUNDRED percent (and go into a bit more in the post about confidence), how you behave and let others behave around your child teaches your child how to behave and interact with other people.

That being said, LADIES if you are constantly saying men are dogs and or guys aren't shit around your child and only bring men around that reinforce these types of thoughts your child will grow up acting, believing and saying exactly what you say. That goes for the GENTLEMEN TOO!

If you are IN a relationship with someone whom treats you like GARBAGE, tries to control you or monitors your every move; it doesn't not MATTER if they are the father of your child or not, GET THE HELL OUT! If not for your sake then do it for the sake of your child and the potential person your child can grow to be in the future.
You would not want your child to grow up in an unhealthy environment. Don't let your fear paralyze you.

Remember whether your child is a boy or girl, whether you are single, in a relationship or married. YOUR ACTIONS both intentional and UNintentional speak volumes to your child.
Be the person you want your child to be, by doing this you are being the best you and the best example you can be for them.

Thank you for reading!