Saturday, August 13, 2011

Stress leads to REST

I know it has been a LONG time but I have been under a lot of stress since getting back from my vacations.
First off I start classes the 29 of this month!!!! I can't believe it and I don't feel ready at all!
My big girl and I at Coney Island
Due to... LIFE I had to take a year off of school which really helped and placed me a much better place then where I was before, both mentally and physically.
Leilani starts school, for the FIRST time, on September 8th and that is really taking an emotional toll on me.
Then the lack of steady income.
Lack of insurance
Lack of knowing what SCHOOL shes going to be attending, are just a few of the other things on my mind.
One thing about me is I carry all my emotions in my stomach. So on top of all this my stomach is a mess, my room is a mess and so is my brain which leads to me not getting a restful sleep. All of these things have turned me into a MAD women! I've had a short temper and shorter patience level which means I haven't been as nice as I should be to Leilani. Sorry dear.
So this is what I have had to do. Being that I start classes before Leilani I had to find a place for her to go until she starts school. Thankfully Baruch College, my school... I love saying that :), has an on site daycare that agreed to keep her for the few days that are in between. I went to the daycare spoke to the staff and the one BIG thing keeping her "out" is the lack of a physical. Now neither one of us have insurance and getting any sort of medical attention with out a form of insurance is both almost impossible and VERY EXPENSIVE. If I don't get her this physical it means NO school for me!
After calling literally 20 clinics I found one that would do it for a nominal fee. Check one thing off my list! :)
Coney Island at night
BUT I need my school ID to sign up. Which I didn't have so I had to go to my school get the ID and a shot in order to attend class, take the medical form to the admissions office then be on my way to the clinic. When I get there the staff was very nice and it didn't take long to sign up at all.
The only thing is that I need to return VERY early in the morning in order to insure that she gets one. Another thing is that its the same day as Baruch's transfer welcome party, which I really want to go to AND I have no baby sitter so I don't have the slightest clue how I'm going to pull this one off. However, like I always have to tell myself: I'm awesome and I can do it.
Corny I know but it works!
The other good thing that came out of all of this is that I now know that both Leilani and myself are eligible for FREE health insurance! So I am in the process of getting all the paper work together for that.
I also had to go back to school shopping done for Leilani, which is a reminder of the fact that I have no steady income, that my daughter is and that I get too emotional in the middle of these department
I am happy to say that her father came through with child support and my sisters help(ed) me too, so we got ALL, well mostly all, of our shopping DONE TODAY!
The steady income thing is factor that I know I only have to power to change. I also know that I am MY OWN BIGGEST OBSTACLE and need to remove myself from myself in order to get ahead.
I set out to do the bulk of my "To do list" this week and even though it was tough I'm glad to say I did it!

As stressful as this week has been it has also been very encouraging, enlightening and reflective. I see myself letting myself get "comfortable" and not pushing myself as much as I should so I've decided to light the fire under my own ASS and get on my goals and dreams, NOW!
My week ended on a wonderful note though I went to Coney Island with Leilani and watched the AWESOME firework display and even got on a few rides!

Perfect Picture. no?

Beautiful moon!

Okay I'm almost done :)
I want to let you all know that I'm going to be making some changes to the blog and the first one is already underway. Interviews with other teen moms which I will post right here along with some other new and exciting things. As my readers I want to ask you what YOU would like to see, hear and read to make your experience on this blog better and more enjoyable.
Your feedback is greatly appreciated! :) you can email me at or just leave a comment.
If you are a teen parent or know one that would be a great candidate for an interview send them my way as well.
Thank you all very much for reading. Time for bed time stories:)