Tuesday, November 15, 2011

First Grade Sex Education

As you may have read before Leilani is now in the first grade.
The fact that she is five and most of her classmates are seven did cause some discomfort with me. The fact of the matter is the older children get the more they know. As a mother I didn't want Leilani exposed to certain things until she was of a certain age.

On several different occasions Leilani and I have talked about respecting ones body, loving yourself and I am ALWAYS trying to undo the mess of distorted reality that fairy tales present children with. Things like love at first sight, prince charming saving you and the UNSETTLING fact that most of the disney princess are teenagers!

However, none of these things prepared me for what Leilani told me over lunch this past weekend.

As we were eating lunch and talking Leilani informed me that one of her classmates, we'll call Sam, told her that she has sex dreams. Now you can imagine the shock I felt from hearing Leilani say sex then her saying SEXDREAMS. However I remained "calm" and said Huh?!
"Yes mommy, Sam told me in the lunch line and at our desk that she has sex dreams."
I asked her to tell me exactly what Sam had told her.
"She told me that she has dreams that her and "Tom", a boy in class, were kissing on the mouth, then they take their clothes off and then they have sex."
DON'T let this happen

I was shocked! Not only is this little girl talking about sex but fully describing the actions that lead up TO sex.
Not to mention with MY daughter!

I asked Leilani what she thought about Sam's dream. Much to my delight she told me that Sam was too young to have sex and to be having such nasty dreams. ... But it's ok because Sam loves Tom.

This knocked me out of my chair more than her saying sex. My daughter believes that Sam is too young to be having sex but "love" makes it okay.
Sadly enough this type of thinking that a FIVE YEAR OLD has is the same thinking that many people, not just women and/or young women, have.
If a FIVE YEAR old girl is already thinking this way what will change it BEFORE she is a teenager?
PARENTS, thats who.

I realized A LOT during this conversation with Leilani.

  • I realized that I need to work more in teaching Leilani about love, the different types of love and when to realize and identify real love.
  • I realized that it is obviously NEVER too early to talk to your children about SEX, LOVE and SELF RESPECT/WORTH
  • I had to question what the heck Sam's parents are not or are telling and exposing her to.
On Monday I went straight to the teacher and spoke to her. She was shocked and informed me that the little girl never even speaks during lessons but did not under mind what Leilani told me and what I was telling her.

In conclusion TALK TO YOUR KIDS!!! NOW! 
Don't wait until they are going through puberty, don't wait until your daughter gets her period or your son is a "man."  
Don't wait, don't wait, DON"T WAIT.