Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Wait I've Been Here Before

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook you know that last week Leilani had a case of pink eye; as well as a fever which kept us both home for about a week. What you don't know is that week I was really going through 'it.'

You know, the constant self badgering I put myself through about my life plans. I am a reformed hyperplanner/worrier and although I've gotten a lot better these tendencies still have a way of coming back.

I was stressing about finances, my life after college and life post post college. What bought on all this stress you ask: Glee and The Secret Life of the American Teenager. (Sounds crazy I know but hear my out and yes, I watch Secret Life. I actually enjoy it more than MTV's Teen Mom, but that's a whole 'nother post :).

In Glee they were stressing plans after high school. In The Secret Life, Amy, the main character, was stressing mom life and teenage life. These two things plus staying home all week gave me a lot of time to think and badger myself.

I stressed, internalized my stress, projected my stress and then had to pull myself out of it by asking myself: what the hell are you purposely doing to yourself?!?
Instead of stressing I took action. I emailed some people, spoke to my father and did online research. I realized that all of my dreams and future goals can be obtained- all of them!

I've been here before! I was here when I was stressing about which major and minor to choose. I was here when I didn't want to listen to my inner voice. I've been here several times and everytime the same answer rings true. The choices you make in life don't have to be permanent (depending on the situation of course.)

When you choose a major or minor that doesn't mean you'll be doing that one thing your whole life, when not listening to your inner voice- which is very dumb- the choice you make is often times temporary so don't stress and sulk get PRO ACTIVE!

In short what I guess I'm saying is staying home with a green eyed fever ridden sweet heart, during election week-which we won, I am officially a sitting member of Baruch College's 2012-2013 Undergrad Student Government- was really time that I needed. Time I needed to think these things out without distraction, time to clean the house( thank God!), time to spend with Leilani without distractions.
Time to get my mind right.

The best thing that came out of that week- besides Leilani feeling better-was
 me realizing I can have it all!