Friday, November 30, 2012

I Mustache You a Question Mommy

"Mommy do you have one of these?" Leilani asks me pointing to her upper lip at the little faint hairs she has.

I pause for a moment, she told me before that some of her class mates have pointed out her faint mustache and told her they didn't have one.

"Yup!" I answer with certainty and honesty.
"Then why can't I see it? Do you shave it?"
"Sometimes, or I get it taken off when I get my eyebrows done."
What do you want to do about it? I ask.
I don't know, I just didn't want to be the only one with one.
"Dont worry baby you're not." I answering and smiling at her.

Like many females I have faint hairs on my upper lip. However, the teasing i got for it made me feel like I looked like Santa Clause.

The first time anything was done about it was when my mother decided to try waxing it off, herself, at home.

That was not a pleasant experience.

Over the years I would/will shave, wax, thread or Nair it off, other times it doesn't seem like a big deal to me.

My point is own up to your insecurities when it comes to your children so they can see how you deal with yours and how they don't 'make' you and won't break you. Show them how to love themselves by modeling healthy self image habits. 

If I had told Leilani no I don't have one she would have felt like she was the only one which we ALL know she isn't.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Baruch/CUNY/ NYC College Mom Group

As a student parent and sinlge mom at Baruch College last semester I had the idea to start a college mom group with the intent for it to become CUNY wide. 

However, it got put on the back burner.

This semester I have been asked by several staff and students if I ever got the group up and running. They informed me that they have had other student parents asking for something like this. 
Due to there inquires I am going to REALLY start working on this this semester and hopfully have a launch next semester! 

If you know ANY mother that is in college or are a mother in college that is looking for a group of like minded mothers please refer them to me at 
If you have ANY tips/suggestions/advice email me as well! 

Lets make this happen!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Republicans should Privatize the Child Support system

Republicans/ Conservatives should work on privatizing the Child Support system.
Seriously. Not joking.

If they privatized the Child Support system and had bounty hunters out there like Dog the Bounty Hunter searching for "fathers" that dodge child support orders, get them served child support papers and make sure they are in court when they need to be I would TOTALLY support that!

Do you know how many woman would NOT be on so much or ANY government assistance if they actually received child support? ME! That's who!

Because some of the people in the country are under the notion that the economy is a mess because of  "welfare Queens" like myself, yes I am on food stamps, why not get them off state assistance and have "men" that refuse to take care of their responsibilities take care of them through tracking them down via privately owned "child support bounty hunters" and drag their asses to court? I would totally support that!

According to court calculations Leilani's father is suppose to pay about $500 a MONTH in child support. It's been a little over two years of going through the child support "system" and I have received nothing.

I am here to say that if the child support system was privatized the amount of families on state assistance would without a doubt DROP!
Call me crazy but you know i'm right.

Leilani's "father's" favorite line.
Child Support and YUM's

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Baby Sitter Troubles AGAIN!

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter then you may have noticed that I have problems with my sitter.

To explain it best there is a love hate relationship. The problem is the sitter herself is not the problem. She has helped me in many time of need and close calls.
It's another child that makes Leilani hate being over there. The other child, to-date has teased, bullied, shown Rihanna and Nicki Minaj videos and has exposed Leilani to the wonderful killing doll Chuckie movies.

I've explained my frustrations to some and I get the answer that I used to think I just had the accept, "she's inexpensive and you need to make sacrafices."
However, now I think that answer is shit. The sacrafices I need to make are giving Leilani the best that I can while doing the best that I can and keeping her with a sitter she despises -with reason- is NOT me doing the best I can.

The other day Leilani asked me if 'dick' was a bad word. I couldnt believe my ears, I explained to her what 'dick' meant and asked her where she'd learned that word. Lo and behold she replied 'the sitters house.'

Or more Whoopi... yeah I think Whoopi. 

Then last night she told me that the sitters daugter told her that "you and daddy had sex to make me."

WT actual F was my initial thought and was going to be my response. However, I explained to her that sex is how people have babies which opened another can of worms and an other conversation about family planning. Yes, I have family planning conversations with a six year old because OBVIOUSLY other kids are trying to teach her and i'm NOT having that!

Thankfully I just got the letter from the school saying that she has been approved to attend the two day after school program which means the sitter will only be picking her up one day out of the week.

However, I will keep working hard and really work on finding a different sitter. I still have classes to attend!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012


I am literally crying as I type this. WHY? To be honest I have NO IDEA but it happened because I just listened to Alicia Keys- Girl on Fire for the first time and DAM Y'ALL!

I'm going to be SUPER honest and real with you all.
My confidence is SHIT!
There I said it.
I'm really hard on myself and never think i'm moving anywhere in life even though I KNOW and SEE I am. I think this over shadowing of my accomplishments happens because of my up bringing and volatile relationship with Leilani's father.

So today while I was at the Massachusetts Alliance for Teenage Pregnancy one of the advocates for young mothers said she wanted Girl on Fire to play as she walked across the stage. I decided to listen to it and DAHM Y'ALL. I cried!
Watching the video I related so much to the story being told through her actions, then I started listening to her words and realized this is a strong ass woman she is describing. A woman that is on her shit! Getting it done! Holding it DOOOWWWN!!
Then my AFTER thought was holy shit this is... me...?
You see: that my AFTER thought was this is... me? I questioned if it was me. Then I had to tell myself YES! That's ME!
I'm on fire! I'm amazing! I'm making moves! I'm getting places! I work, I intern, I write, I go to school, I advocate, I learn and above all I am a DAHM GOOD MOM.

I'm PROUD TO SAY that THIS GIRL IS ON FIIIRREEE and starting to realize it and is going to OWN it!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Box Tops for Education

The school Leilani goes to is not so great, it's your typical NYC low income public school. I went there for a bit when I lived in the city. I HATED IT. Every moment. Everyday. Every time the teacher- who by the way was a discharged US Marine (the facts behind his discharge always stated vague)- yelled or hit a student in class, yes that happened and it was more of a throwing than hitting- I hated it! I wanted to run out of that school.

So imagine how great of a mother I felt enrolling my child there. I felt like I was setting history up to repeat its self. Then I realized that unlike my parents I am involved. I want to help her experience at school be better than mine and in ways I've done that. I've taught her before school which enabled her to skip kindergarten and I had her take the gifted and talented test, which she unfortunatly didn't pass by four points.

I attended her performances and assemblies but I still wasn't too involved. This year I vowed to change that.

A week or so ago I attended my first PTA meeting! And was pleasantly shocked to see how many parents where in attendance.
I've emailed her teacher back and forth to set up a meeting with her to better get to know her and the classroom environment she promotes.

However!!! My biggest success is the fact that the school principal approved the request I made with the President of the PTA to start the Box Tops for Education at the school!

I'm so excited! And can't wait to have my other request and suggestions acknowledged and hopefully approved!

Just because she's in the same school I hated attending doesn't mean I can't try to make it better for her and the other children there.

Serendipity Play Dates

The other weekend Leilani and I were at home. She was bored, I was bored so we decided to go to the park. It was then that I realized that Leilani doesn't really have friends.

She has kids that she places with the building but theyre a bit to rugged for her and she usually comes home crying after playing with them.

I watched at the park as she played by herself, I wanted to do something to help her but didn't know where to begin. There aren't any play groups in our neighborhood and as much as I'd like to starting one would probably be too time consuming for me to effectively create one.

After sometime we headed home and began to get her ready for her ballet classes in the morning.

The next morning at dance we said hello to one of the little girls in her class and I chatted with the mother for the full 60 minutes of the class. Afterwards we said our goodbyes but I did something differently. I asked the mother if she'd like to join us at the Central Park Zoo and they said yes!

The day was spent at the zoo, the girls played, moms talked and then we went and grabbed lunch. It was such a great day that was completely unplanned. It felt great to watch Leilani play with a child that didn't bully her or punch her or tell her what she had to do.

And while Leilani and the little girl may not grow up together and be the best of friends for the rest of their lives, more importantly Leilani had fun without having to cry and I learned that I have to take more chances and invite people to play with us to start building friendships for the both of us.

Picture Day and I Paid!

It's crazy to see how much you can grow in one year. Last year when Leilani brought home the notice stating that her school pictures were going to be taken I felt upset.

I had no money and couldn't afford to buy my daughter her first set of school photos. Thankfully my father graciously paid for them and I was able to get her first set of school photos.

However, this time around, when the notice came home I looked at it and immediately decided that I wanted the largest packet because I could!

I could afford to get my daughter's photos this year WITHOUT help. Without the shame of not being able to and this is the most amazing feeling ever.
In one year I went from not having anything to having a little bit more but most importantly a lot more confidence in my abilities as a young single mom. I guess this year really is the year of the scooter.