Tuesday, February 12, 2013

10 Tips on How To Survive as a Single Mom

These are some things that have helped me survive as a single mom.

10 Tips on How To Survive as a Single Mom. 

Get several baby sitters: This doesn't mean you'll have to pay all of them at the same time but having back up and back up back up baby sitters makes a huge difference and is very helpful!

Plan your meals: if you are working and or going to school and taking care of your little one, trying to decide what to make for dinner right before dinner is stressful. Help yourself by planning in advance.

Bed times: make and stick to a bed time. Not only will this help your child with establishing a routine but if you make their bed time early enough you can get an hour or more to yourself before you go to bed.

Clean during the week: often we put most if not all the house work off until the weekend. Stop doing that! If you clean a little every day by the time the weekend comes you won't so much left to do and you'll have more time for other things.

Build your network: we are human. We all need people to talk to, laugh with and call when we are upset or just want to hear another adult speak. You can have a virtual network- I can not begin to tell you how many amazing friendships and relationships I've made on social media. Talk to family, talk to friends, talk to people it helps and makes a huge difference. You won't feel as alone. Just remember that when building your network you're building it for two-you and your child-so have friends that can be both of your friends.

Take advantage of time you have away from your child: don't get stuck in being "just a mom" you are so much more! Leilani is in after school and it's over hours after I get out of my last class so I take advantage of it. Sometimes I do homework, sometimes I go home and start cleaning but more times than not I just do whatever I feel like doing. If you child isn't in after school see if the sitter will pick your child up from school for you once a month or as often as you can afford and take time for you!

Take advantage of time you have with your child: I find that sometimes even if Leilani and I are in the same place or house we aren't spending time together. I am trying to make a real effort to stop this. Being in the same place does not equal spending time together. Just like you, your child just wants someone to hang out with.

Don't feel bad: remove the guilt of not "having a real family," "not being able to afford everything," having cereal two nights in a row for dinner or anything else. It's OKAY! There is no such thing as a "real family," no one needs to or should be to afford EVERYTHING, and cereal is delicious and if its good enough for the most important meal of the day it's good enough for dinner. Remove the guilt and trust me you will begin to live!

Stop living like you have to prove yourself: I did this so much-still do at times- and it sucks! Its unhealthy adds to guilt and you will never live up to anyone else's expectations of you, it's impossible. Prove yourself to no one, not even yourself just live the best life you can.

Stop trying to make your child's father be a parent: this goes with the last two tips too. You can't feel bad for "choosing the wrong guy," it happens you aren't the only single mom. If your child's father isn't around sure you can and should try to include him as much as possible but you can not change anyone, you can't make them into a parent, and in trying to do those things it can only cause more problems.

I will be updating this post with links that explain how to get started on all the tips provided here so be sure to come back for more in detail tips.

Let me know what tips I have forgotten in the comments.