Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Ask for Emotional Support to Get Emotional Support

I am very good at always being 'strong' and not letting things effect me. So good at it that while I'm screaming on the inside or feel like I'm going to fall apart I can paint a smile on my face and convince others and myself otherwise. 

With time I have become better at asking for help and realizing that asking for help does not mean you are weak, failing, or 'not good enough' in anyway. It simply means you need help. Last year I finally realized and accepted that I have depression and that that is okay too. In short I feel I have come a long way from the hermit crab who never dealt with, expressed, or accepted she had emotions. However, I still have a ways to go. 

Because I'm so good at acting like everything is fine I feel people around me don't know how to react when I come to them for help, but don't really state I NEED/ am expecting help from them. For example I called one of my sisters while on the brink of an anxiety attack before and felt like she brushed me off. I was hurt, pissed off, and didn't really talk to her for the rest of the day. Then I realized that although I called her I did not once state that I felt like I'm falling apart, my emotions are a mess, and I just spent the last 3 minutes crying- in fact I'm holding back tears as I talk to you. Instead I treated the conversation like a regular "hey what's up" conversation and got upset because she did the same. 

Reaching out to people for emotional support is scary and difficult. Some might care what you have to say while others may brush you off however, when you are approaching someone you know has been emotionally supportive of you consistently shoot it straight when approaching them. I'm sure if I was honest with my sister and told her I was a mess, crying, and needed her to calm me down she would have stopped whatever she was doing and done that for me but since I didn't she didn't. 

Talk about your emotions, feel free to experience and explore all your emotions. You are human you are supposed to!