Monday, August 4, 2014

Living my Dream With My Best Friend

Yesterday I woke up very stressed and overwhelmed.

I don't do doing nothing very well.
I freak out actually.
I freak out and I get down on myself and feel like I'm wasting time and not doing the best I can. Yes- even though I should be relaxing because I'm on vacation and it's the summer.

I decided that the best way to get over my self inflicted "do something with you life" party was to get out of the house and do something.

That something was the beach with Leilani.

First, I got all dressed up and cute because that always helps when I'm feeling, bluh.
I googled the closest beach.
Grabbed some towels and left.

We dropped our things in the sand and ran to the water as soon as we could.

The waves were HUGE (perfect for me... not so perfect for Leilani) so we stayed close to the shore and played around in the waves.
We held hands when a wave was coming and Leilani held on to my waist when the HUGE waves would come crashing down on us. "You're the best mommy ever!" she said as she smiled up to me, sand spattered across her face, hair a mess, and the sun in her eyes.

The waves kept coming and even though she asked me to not make her go out to "where my feet can't touch because it scares me" she asked to venture further out into the water and so we did.

We stayed on the beach a bit longer, played in the sand, talked, and left.

I decided to take the scenic route (aka a bit lost and a bit curious to see more of the city) so we drove down a coastal road along side the beach and marveled at the mountains, hills, ocean, and overall beautiful scenery. We couldn't figure out how to make the radio in the car work so we sang songs to one another and we talked about the latest episode of Korra.

Like the huge waves that knocked us over a few minutes before, the realization that I am living one of the goals and dreams I set out for myself in life hit me.
It hit me hard.

I looked over at the passenger I had in the car and could not think of a more deserving and amazing person to share these moments with.

My baby girl.
My baby girl who I held in my arms at 15 scared as hell and full of shame.
My baby girl who has seen me go from working the closing shift at Taco Bell to speaking in from the the Supreme Court.
My baby girl who has loved me no matter what-even when I tell her to go to bed early.
My baby girl; the one who many people said would ruin my life because I had her young and or that I would ruin hers because I had her young.
My baby girl who makes me the best me I never knew I could be.

I'm literally living out my dreams.
How the hell can I be stressed?